Have you ever felt that your lack of confidence stops you from getting what you want in life? Have you been labeled with “low self-esteem” or being needy and want to fix that part of yourself. Listen to this quick video by Debi Berndt Maldonado where she explains the truth about confidence and how you can have it right now without having to fix yourself.
That’s really interesting when I talk about– When I first started in my personal development journey, I was labeled having low self-esteem. I was trying to diagnose, what was wrong with me, why did I feel so unhappy with my life? Why couldn’t I find relationships? Why didn’t I have the career I wanted? Why did I have the bosses I had? It all came down to, “You have low self-esteem.” For most of my young adult life, I was really trying to build up my self-esteem, and a lot of personal development is about building confidence.
Here’s the thing, most people think that making an ego and making your personality more confident and appealing to people is the key, but what we’re really doing is putting on a mask. We’re not really feeling confident inside, we’re acting confident. That whole idea of the imposter syndrome, that’s where it really comes from, because we feel like we can’t be ourselves, we can’t be vulnerable, we have to put on this confident air in order to get the things we want in life. I think it puts too much pressure on people to be this perfection. What I’ve discovered is true confidence is having confidence in your higher self to guide you.
That you can be a complete wreck around people who love you, you can be insecure, you can be needy, you could be emotional and feel low self-esteem and people will still love you and know that that’s not all of who you are. It’s about embracing that low self-esteem, embracing those little insecure parts of ourselves that really give us true confidence. Really it’s the hardest thing to do, most people– It’s really scary we’re not taught or conditioned to be so revealing about ourselves. I found that even around you when we were first starting to date, when I was really honest and vulnerable and scared, you had told me once, “I really feel closer to you now.”
I think that’s the key is that people could smell when you are hiding your insecurity. What’s most endearing is that when you’re open and yourself and that makes people want to be close to you. True confidence is loving all parts of yourself, it’s loving the parts that you’re really good and your strengths, and also loving all the things that aren’t so pleasing sometimes, that if you love all those parts of yourself, you’ll find that you’ll surround yourself with people who love all those parts too. It makes you feel more relaxed in life and the pressure’s off.
That’s my take on true confidence. When you think about the higher self, it can never be harmed, it can never be insecure, it can never be wounded. The only thing that feels that way is the ego. If we transcend it and access that wonderful part of our minds that’s divine and express the divine woman, we never have to worry about those insecure times because we know that’s not really what defines us.