Is there a quick-fix for love and success?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just snap your fingers and effortlessly have the love and success you want? What if today was the day that got your lucky break? Suddenly, without effort, the man (or woman) of your dreams appeared or your blog post or video went viral and you suddenly were offered a major book deal? We all love the story of the overnight success and desperately want to skip over the rough parts of life to get to the golden prize whether it is love, money, success or enlightenment.

The market is filled with overnight cures for weight loss, love and money. We are all want to get things with as little effort as possible. The problem with a quick-fix is that you are propelled unprepared  into a new environment before you have emotionally grown into managing it. The fix will be temporary and you will end up sabotaging and destroying whatever you create to get back to your old, conditioned mind and life.

Lottery winners are a great example of this phenomenon. A large percentage of them go bankrupt within a year after winning their prize money. Even after receiving tens of millions of dollars they eventually find themselves penniless and in debt. They weren’t emotionally prepared to step into the wealthy persona so they rejected it and the money.

Have you ever met someone who felt like a good match and things started happening very quickly, almost too quickly? All of a sudden everything in your being was freaking out and wanting to run. You either got really clingy, played games or maybe your ex suddenly reconnected with you and created a big distraction. You weren’t prepared to be in a committed relationship so drama kicked in and you fell back into your old comfortable pattern.

There is a saying by the Roman philosopher Seneca, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” If you aren’t prepared, you will reject whatever you attract into your life or, more likely, not even see the opportunities at all.

When I first started doing personal development, I just wanted things to change overnight. I wanted the magic pill, the spiritual incantation that would manifest my mate. I avoided the tough parts of exploring my inner self and tried to skip over the deeper work thinking I didn’t really need to go there. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was actually delaying my love transformation by looking for the quick fix.

The same thing happened when I started my hypnotherapy business. I was so obsessed with getting a book published and getting on Oprah so I could be an overnight success. I kept trying to take shortcuts because I was avoiding all the tough parts like putting myself out there, marketing and spending money on the business. I was waiting for Oprah, but the universe was waiting for me… so I finally rolled up my sleeves and built the foundation of the business that Rob and I have taken to heights beyond what I could have imagined when I first started out. The challenges in creating the business helped me stretch into a larger me that gave me far more rewards than having success simply handed to me.

I realized that I needed to face the discomfort of taking risks to prepare and groom me for the relationship with Rob and success we experience in our business now. You can only have people and things in your life to the extent you are willing to grow yourself to receive them. Growth doesn’t mean fixing or healing anything, but becoming emotionally-mature by facing the parts of you that scare you. Then, you can have a direct experience of your true self, beyond your conditioned mind.

The good news is that personal development does not have to be all about struggle or pain. The path of individuation should be about taking on life’s incredible challenge to become the best you can be. You should WANT to be more and grow more, not because it is a requirement or a trip to the dentist. It is your calling in life.

There is a higher purpose to your life than just meeting a man and making money. Through the process of self-discovery, you become intimate with your unique gifts that only you can bring to the world. The passion of that desire will compel you to take the journey that most people are afraid to experience. There is no finish line and your life is only limited to the extent you want to grow and know the power that lies within you.