Have you tried to become a better person, gain confidence or fix your past to create a new future but feel stuck? The problem isn’t what you are doing but “who” you are working on.
In this video, Debi and Dr. Rob explain that too many people get stuck in personal development trying to fix their PERSONA and that is why they are going in circles. Find out how to free your mind and reach your full potential.
Watch the video and let us know what you think by commenting below!
Deb: Hi, this is Debi and Dr. Rob! We are transformational leaders helping you have more love, more success and more creativity in your life. And this is an informal talk that we’re having on video about different topics that we teach.
One of the things we wanted to teach today is those of you who’ve been trying to work on themselves, trying to do personal development, maybe positive thinking, improve themselves but feel like your results are very limited, you may feel a little better about yourself, but you’re not getting that big transformation that you really want. And the reason is you’re probably just focusing on the persona.
Rob: That’s right. In Jungian psychology, the persona is the mask we wear. And it’s really useful for social interaction. In our model we don’t see anything wrong with it, we’re not trying to get rid of it or even focus on it that much. It is important to understand it in order for us to be able to go deeper, because really what happens is we identify with it. We believe that we are the persona, that we are the mask that we wear in social situations. And of course in personal development, if we’re only working at that level, that’s not going to get us very far.
Deb: And the persona is just such a small part of who we are. And so many of you might be thinking, ‘Well, I do work on a little deeper level. I work on the unconscious and I’m changing my patterns, my unconscious blocks,’ and all those things. But if you really think about it, you’re still working on the persona, this identity that you think is who you are based on your personal history, what happened to you. And you’re very limited to what you can create because you’re still identifying with this very, very small part of yourself.
Rob: That’s right. If we really want to make changes, we have to be able to not only identify our persona, but to also understand how it’s shaped our view of the world and ourselves. So it’s a good exercise to think about what is our persona and how have we been playing out in our family life, in our work life and in our social settings.
The persona, if we think about it as a mask, internally we have this ego that’s narrating our life to us. It also has a lot of defenses. When the persona or the ego feel threatened, these ego defenses come to the rescue. And their whole mission is to make sure that the persona survives. When we want to transform, make changes, become better in any area of our lives, those defenses are going to resist. They become very powerful defenses against change.
Deb: And so when people are talking about making themselves a better person or being more confident or having more things in their life, they’re facing those ego defenses and it only really wants you to stay on the surface. And so we’re naturally defending against any kind of deeper work anyway.
So a lot of people think, ‘I’m good enough.’ If you’ve told yourself, ‘I know that. I’m good enough. I’ve done enough work. And I Love myself,’ but your still not getting the result, that means you’re really not seeing the real picture of who you are. We don’t want to just identify with the persona because we have so much more to us.
One of the problems with focusing on the persona is that you’re still trying to get something from the outside world that defines you. So if you have the relationship that you want, that defines you. If you have money, more money, you have a better persona. And that really leaves you in a powerless place because you’re not really owning your own power, you’re giving it out to the world and attached to those things out there.
And what we teach is that there’s actually a deeper part of us where we can find our own power. And that is our true self, which is much different than the persona and it’s really our authentic, unlimited self. And so instead of trying to be a little more positive and shining up that surface self, you’re actually getting into your true power.
Rob: That’s right. So here’s an exercise for you. Think about three areas of your life – your family life, your work life and your social life – what persona do you wear, what mask do you wear in those settings. And write it down. Think about also what you reject, what doesn’t fit into your persona. And that information will come in useful later as we go along.
Deb: That’s a great exercise. So think about that and then ask yourself too, ‘Which persona am I really? Who am I really.’ And look to our other videos where we go deeper into your mind and who you truly are so you could find your true self.
This is Debi and Dr. Rob. Signing out.