What to expect when you want to change your life

An inspiration arises in you to make a change. You can no longer remain in the same place, you are tired of being single and want that amazing relationship or want to pursue your true purpose and calling in life. You are feeling a bit of hope and are getting excited about the new possibilities. The motivation could last a day or a week or months. Somewhere on the journey toward this new life, the momentum forward will stop as the alarms go off inside and your thoughts are telling you to turn around and go back.


You cannot see the change yet, maybe you just signed up with a dating site or a new personal development program or you just met someone new. There is no logical reason to panic, but a flood of doubt and fear moves through your body. If you don’t realize what all this energy represents – that pivotal moment when a great change is happening – you will emotionally react like you always do and retreat to the safety of the status quo. You will give up the opportunity of getting what you really want in life. Resistance has won the battle again.


The worst part of resistance is that you get so hard on yourself or the world when it arises. You blame others and yourself for not making a change. Over years of experience, I see the biggest hurdle to anyone having tangible results in a personal development program is their ability to understand and manage their own resistance. Everyone experiences it.  Resistance is not a sign of weakness but a sign you are on the right track.


There is nothing wrong with resistance because it serves a great purpose. If you didn’t have an ego that wanted to keep the status quo you would be all over the place, changing everything all the time in a chaotic way. The ego does a great job of trying to keep your life in order and predictable so you feel safe. This part of your mind is necessary for your survival.


You have unlimited potential. You were meant to do more on this earth than just survive.


If you want to get a new experience in life whether it is a new type of relationship, more income or even a new career, the ego will resist this. This inner narrator will start to become a used car salesman (sorry used car salesmen), throwing everything at you to get you to stop growing and changing. It will make up excuses and tell you that the change isn’t happening so you better back out now, financial issues will arise that you can blame for backing out of a commitment, someone is sick or a new job is taking up your time.


You may also experience resistance as confusion and the inability to make a decision so you stick with what you know instead of trying something new.


The most powerful type of resistance is cleverly disguised so you cannot see it. Resistance can show up as your current comfort zone getting a little more comfortable. You suddenly like your job more so you don’t change careers.  You get into a relationship and drop the process of personal growth. I often see people who convince themselves that they don’t have time to date because they are putting their focus on their career. These reasons all sound very rational, but they are just the ego lying to you to keep you from changing. You are stuck in good enough and surviving.


You cannot stop resistance from arising within you but you can recognize it for what it is so doesn’t stop you. Just like those tricksters on the streets trying to get you to buy snake oil, you see the ego for what it is and how it is just freaking out at the prospect of change. Once you recognize what you are dealing with, you won’t fall for the ego’s tricks and fantastical stories and you will keep going toward your growth and goals.


Your divine self is your ally in creating change in your life, always propelling you forward toward growth. This part of you, regardless of how safe you feel in your comfort zone, presses you to grow and expand your current situation. The divine craves more life and new experiences and you can sense it through the restlessness when you get bored or frustrated with the status quo.


One woman I coached sent me an email after a few months of working together freaking out that she doesn’t think the coaching and visualizations are working. She felt she would always be alone and wondered if she should just give up. She was facing her “pivotal moment.” I explained to her that this chatter is her ego getting her to stop. She trusted me and kept moving toward love. She met her husband only TWO weeks later! What if she gave in and gave up just before the man of her dreams entered her life?


When you have that pivotal moment, it is a big sign that you are on the verge of change and the ego is desperately trying everything it can to get you to stop growing. The negative chatter gets louder and external events show up in dramatic ways to get you to back off. The ego isn’t logical and just wants to stay in the status quo at all costs. This conditioned part of your mind cannot see the future, only the past. In these moments, remember that inspiration and creativity comes from the divine, the ego can only repeat what has already been created. If you believe the ego, you will be relying on false information.


To master the art of changing your life, you must become intimate with your divine self so that you can manage the ego instead of letting it run your life. The true divine self wants the best for you, new experiences, new adventures and delicious, amazing love and abundance.


EXERCISE:  A quick exercise to connect with this divine self immediately is just to sit for a few minutes and watch your thoughts. Shift your attention from being the thinker to being the witness of the thoughts. The witness is your divine self. It is always right here with you.


By practicing this quick technique, you will immediately feel a sense of relief like you are coming home to an old friend. This mental exercise can remind you of the truth, see the ego for what it is, the narrator of the past, and make decisions from the witness so you can grow and expand your life beyond what you currently experience. You will have the universe at your service to create the life you want.